Chris Bertone pitch thread

This is the official pitch thread of Chris Bertone.

hey shack i was thinking about what you where talking about the other day about how Seinfield makes jokes about ordinary everyday occurring events. So i thought of an idea of a few high school kids going up to a macdonalds drive thru and they don't know how to read at all and completely mess up there order. When they are ordering they say ridiculous random funny things and eventually a huge line of cars are behind honking and yelling at me to hurry up and we shout back fourth making a very funny PSA. In this PSA i would like to have nevin connors in my car with me and have will shaw being the drive thru man at the window (with a head set on). The man that will pull behind me will be jeff kurns honking his horn and screaming and yelling at me to hurry up. We can film this out of a window in the high school that will can talk to me from my car. I think is is a must do and would be extremely funny and the kids and teachers and whoever watches the show will die laughing. Here is the script below.

(me and nevin pull up the drive thru, looking like punks)
Will: What can i get you two fine looking devils today
Chris(me): well gorgeous first things first can i get a menu
Will: (hands me a menu)
Chris: yeah hi can i get a 3 mac sloppers and 2 daaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Will: oh you mean "whopper" you big dummy, and i don't even think a daaaaaaaaaaa is on the menu
Chris: are you calling me stupid, it says daaaaaaaa right her and i would like 2 daaaaaaaaas
Will: kid did you even graduate kindergarden, let me see that.
Nevin: hey buddy i have a garden and it looks nice. (random funny comment)

(jeff pulls up behind me being very obnoxious and junking and screaming)

Chris: (looking backwards at jeff) buddy relax its christmas
Jeff: (yelling back) ITS OCTOBER (or whatever the date is)
Chris: listen you and your V6 can go somewhere else.
Jeff: My V6 would smoke your piece of plastic anywhere anytime
Will: (screaming) Buddy are you going to order or not.
Chris: (screaming) YEAH I SAID I WANTED 2 DAAAAAAAAAAAS (after i say that i drive away giving him the thumbs up)

The End

Cbertone4 wrote:

hey shack i was thinking about what you where talking about the other day about how Seinfield makes jokes about ordinary everyday occurring events. So i thought of an idea of a few high school kids  going up to a macdonalds drive thru and they don't know how to read at all and completely mess up there order. When they are ordering they say ridiculous random funny things and eventually a huge line of cars are behind honking and yelling at me to hurry up and we shout back fourth making a very funny PSA. In this PSA i would like to have nevin connors in my car with me and have will shaw being the drive thru man at the window (with a head set on). The man that will pull behind me will be jeff kurns honking his horn and screaming and yelling at me to hurry up. We can film this out of a window in the high school that will can talk to me from my car.  I think is is a must do and would be extremely funny and the kids and teachers and whoever watches the show will die laughing. Here is the script below.

  (me and nevin pull up the drive thru, looking like punks)
Will: What can i get you two fine looking devils today
Chris(me): well gorgeous first things first can i get a menu
Will: (hands me a menu)
Chris: yeah hi can i get a 3 mac sloppers and 2 daaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Will: oh you mean "whopper" you big dummy, and i don't even think a daaaaaaaaaaa is on the menu
Chris: are you calling me stupid, it says daaaaaaaa right her and i would like 2 daaaaaaaaas
Will: kid did you even graduate kindergarden, let me see that.
Nevin: hey buddy i have a garden and it looks nice. (random funny comment)

(jeff pulls up behind me being very obnoxious and junking and screaming)

Chris: (looking backwards at jeff) buddy relax its christmas
Jeff: (yelling back) ITS OCTOBER (or whatever the date is)
Chris: listen you and your V6 can go somewhere else.
Jeff: My V6 would smoke your piece of plastic anywhere anytime
Will: (screaming) Buddy are you going to order or not.
Chris: (screaming) YEAH I SAID I WANTED 2 DAAAAAAAAAAAS (after i say that i drive away giving him the thumbs up)

The End

SEPT 11

The core idea here is plenty funny, but the script itself needs work to tighten up the jokes to make them work for our general audience at large. We'll talk about this more in class this week. We need to make sure that the jokes work for ALL our student viewers, not just the ones who know you and your friends (who will think you guys are funny no matter what). I'm not sure this current script will translate to the average freshman sitting in a homeroom. But like I said, the basic idea here is plenty funny to tweak things into a product that can work well. So I'd just say this is one that needs some further discussion before it'd be ready to go.

PITCH: 10

hey shack i have a funny idea for my script. In my PSA it will be about a drill sergeant in the Navy Seals trying to get his team together. My dad is currently in the army and has a punch of cool uniforms and stuff i can where durn this video. In the PSA i will play the drill sergeant and Nevin, Will, Jack, Jeff, and kayla will be the troops trying to make my team for my mission. In the video i will be yelling and saying all "school appropriate" things at them that will be really funny. Also while i am doing all of that they will be going throughout these special courses throughout the school like sliding down the pole going down the stairs, army crawling, push ups, and chugging milk because they need there "protein".. I think this would be a good funny video that would target all students with the right script, next class if i could sit down with them for a little bit we can peace together a very funny script that would work.

my idea for a psa is another comedy one. my birthday is this saturday and we could do a funny dance party video of all of us dancing in funny stuff and music. here is my script so far

(all of us are sitting down at a table doing work)..
(jack then runs in with one of those huge calendars)
Jack: Bertone look whats today is
me: Martin Luther king day? I don't know?
Jack: NO silly your birthday
Me: oh yeah!!!
everyone: Happy birthday man
Jack: so what do you want to do and really want
Chris: Kim Kardashion
Nevin: yes!!!
Jack: something legit actually
Me: OH I KNOW!! jeffs leather jacket and a dance party

thats all i have for a script right now before we go and break off into our own dance party.

Cbertone4 wrote:

hey shack i have a funny idea for my script. In my PSA it will be about a drill sergeant in the Navy Seals trying to get his team together. My dad is currently in the army and has a punch of cool uniforms and stuff i can where durn this video. In the PSA i will play the drill sergeant and Nevin, Will, Jack, Jeff, and kayla will be the troops trying to make my team for my mission. In the video i will be yelling and saying all "school appropriate" things at them that will be really funny. Also while i am doing all of that they will be going throughout these special courses throughout the school like sliding down the pole going down the stairs, army crawling, push ups, and chugging milk because they need there "protein".. I think this would be a good funny video that would target all students with the right script, next class if i could sit down with them for a little bit we can peace together a very funny script that would work.

SEPT 17

There is potential here for a funny video, but it needs some significant discussion to work out how to frame it (how to start/end it), and what details will work in the middle (like I'd lose sliding down the pole, and probably chugging milk, but I'm sure there are replacement examples that would work just as well). So it needs further discussion for sure, but there is potential in here, I can see that.

PITCH: 9

Cbertone4 wrote:

my idea for a psa is another comedy one. my birthday is this saturday and we could do a funny dance party video of all of us dancing in funny stuff and music. here is my script so far

(all of us are sitting down at a table doing work)..
(jack then runs in with one of those huge calendars)
Jack: Bertone look whats today is
me: Martin Luther king day? I don't know?
Jack: NO silly your birthday
Me: oh yeah!!!
everyone: Happy birthday man
Jack: so what do you want to do and really want
Chris: Kim Kardashion
Nevin: yes!!!
Jack: something legit actually
Me: OH I KNOW!! jeffs leather jacket and a dance party

thats all i have for a script right now before we go and break off into our own dance party.

SEPT 19

Strong potential if it's handled right (filming/acting). I'd tweak the Kim Kardashian line though, as it comes across as school-inappropriate the way it's currently presented.

You have a decent beginning here, but it's important to know how it ends before we ever begin production.

PITCH: 9

For my PSA i would like to do a funny school reunion where we all talk about our jobs and all the fun we had in high school and our family now. and then will, will ask "hey wheres chris" and ill walk in wearing the cop jacket and say all these absurd funny things about my job and how I'm the baddest cop around.

I would like to reenact this video. Obviously not quote on quote but i would like to do a PSA like this and use it as a model, and we would make it school appropriate as well. In it Will can be the guy wearing the sweater, me driving the car, or we can be parked sittening in the car, and nevin can be the guy that talks bad about will when i have it on speaker phone. here is the clip i would like to base it off of.


if this doesn't work copy this link and enter it on the tab

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Cbertone4 wrote:

For my PSA i would like to do a funny school reunion where we all talk about our jobs and all the fun we had in high school and our family now. and then will, will ask "hey wheres chris" and ill walk in wearing the cop jacket and say all these absurd funny things about my job and how I'm the baddest cop around.

SEPT 23

Doing your future high school reunion has TONS of potential, but I think this pitch is way off anything that comes close to fulfilling it yet. You need significant development of your ideas here, and I've gotta say that I worry that the cop jacket (a well known prop at this point) seems like it might be too easy a joke to go for with a concept that has such strong potential. I will say that you could potentially sell me on it if you have the right jokes to make it more about the role/job (the cop profession) and less about the prop at all really. The bottom line is that I'm very open to this idea, but the pitch is way shorter than it should be on development. But I'll still give you a 9 based on the strength of the core idea.

PITCH: 9

Cbertone4 wrote:

I would like to reenact this video. Obviously not quote on quote but i would like to do a PSA like this and use it as a model, and we would make it school appropriate as well. In it Will can be the guy wearing the sweater, me driving the car, or we can be parked sittening in the car, and nevin can be the guy that talks bad about will when i have it on speaker phone. here is the clip i would like to base it off of.


    if this doesn't work copy this link and enter it on the tab
   
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YBrQQjpUrs

SEPT 25

The general concept is fantastic, I love it. Obviously, like you said, it needs cleaning up to make it school appropriate, but the comedy and awkwardness of the unknown-speakerphone element has miles of potential. I'd go for something that's significantly shorter than this version, but it serves as a good jumping off point.

PITCH: 10

a few years back chris perry and pomella did a PSA of chris taking his drivers test. I would like to make a PSA of will shaw being the cop and giving me the road test, we would add tons of funny things and comments durn the video and it would be a great comedy. Now since we are juniors and a bunch of people are stressing out about getting there license, and what car you drive, and how you drive and whats cool or not, i feel like this PSA will make them less nervous and realize everyone makes mistakes durn there road test and not everyone passes there first time.

for an idea ill be in class talking to jack, will,jeff, and nev and theres a new girl.. which kayla can play. and i ask them how i can start talking to her because she is my "dream girl" and they all tell me to do my specialty move that works "like a charm.
i would play the part of maverick and will can be goose my wing man and everyone then comes in and sings.

Cbertone4 wrote:

a few years back chris perry and pomella did a PSA of chris taking his drivers test.  I would like to make a PSA of will shaw being the cop and giving me the road test, we would add tons of funny things and comments durn the video and it would be a great comedy. Now since we are juniors and a bunch of people are stressing out about getting there license, and what car you drive, and how you drive and whats cool or not, i feel like this PSA will make  them less nervous and realize everyone makes mistakes durn there road test and not everyone passes there first time.

I'm totally on board with everything you're saying here, but the pitch is significantly short on plot details. It's a bit vague to just pitch that he'll say "tons of funny things". So ideally you'd want to pitch a specific start/middle/end to the video here. But again, in general, I agree with the potential of the idea shell you're discussing.

PITCH: 9

i have an idea that we could remake the goldie locks story with the bears. Will would we starring as goldie locks as we can ask luke if we can borrow is wig. we re make the seen of him eating the soup... ones way to hot and burns his mouth on it, ones way to cold and it would be a bowl of ice, and ones just right and he makes a bunch of funny faces while doing it, then when he goes to find a bed he will go into the nurses room and one bed would be too stiff, the other not fluffy and the next one would be just right..... while he is doing all of this i would be the narrator saying what he is doing in a weird voice.

Cbertone4 wrote:

for an idea ill be in class talking to jack, will,jeff, and nev and theres a new girl.. which kayla can play. and i ask them how i can start talking to her because she is my "dream girl" and they all tell me to do my specialty move that works "like a charm.
   i would play the part of maverick and will can be goose my wing man and everyone then comes in and sings.

NOV 7

Could be great if pulled off right...could get awkward if not.

PITCH: 10

Cbertone4 wrote:

i have an idea that we could remake the goldie locks story with the bears. Will would we starring as goldie locks as we can ask luke if we can borrow is wig. we re make the seen of him eating the soup... ones way to hot and burns his mouth on it, ones way to cold and it would be a bowl of ice, and ones just right and he makes a bunch of funny faces while doing it, then when he goes to find a bed he will go into  the nurses room and one bed would be too stiff, the other not fluffy and the next one would be just right..... while he is doing all of this i would be the narrator saying what he is doing in a weird voice.

NOV 12

Hmm...maybe? I'm not sure that I see it working based on this pitch. But you might be able to convince me via further discussion if it's something you want to go for. I just don't see enough inherent comedy yet as the pitch is currently constructed. I mean, it's weird and goofy, but that's not necessarily funny and entertaining to a mass audience. That's not to say it couldn't be made funny and entertaining, just that it's not clear in the current pitch how we're making sure weird and goofy does indeed play out in a funny/entertaining way to our viewers.

PITCH: 9

for our movie trailer project i would like to do a comedy type video. It will be based on a boy that has been locked in a room for 17 years and never interacted with anybody or tought anything like how to speak or walk. eventually a man adopts this young man and trys to teach him the basics of life like how to eat.. walk.. speak to girls... and dance and mathematics. I'm still working on a script, but this is the general idea of it.

we could do a christmas commercial for santa. for the commercial we will advertise my car and how its way better than his slay and say that my lights are 10x better then rodulfs red nose.

i have an idea that i would be the president and giving a speech to my fellow citizens. durn my speech nobody understands me and is booing me and we would show a clip of people booing me...eventually will gets up and understands my weird speaking and translates it for everyone listening,
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>       this is what the video will kinda be like.

for my next idea i was thinking that my hole group could be sitting in a circle talking about our favorite types of sandwiches and the best one can be the sandwich of the week for ramble , and then as they say whats is on there sandwiches it shows them making them, eventually i go and i say for my sandwich that a good one would be "a lettuce, mustard, and wills head" and it shows me putting some mustard lettuce and wills head on a sandwich.

ive have seen some cool long boarding videos on MSB and surfing. i was thinking we could do a cool dirt biking video. i know a bunch of kids who dirt bike, including myself who could make a pretty cool video.

Cbertone4 wrote:

for our movie trailer project i would like to do a comedy type video. It will be based on a boy that has been locked in a room for 17 years and never interacted with anybody or tought anything like how to speak or walk. eventually a man adopts this young man and trys to teach him the basics of life like how to eat.. walk.. speak to girls... and dance and mathematics. I'm still working on a script, but this is the general idea of it.

NOV 18

We discussed this issue in class, but I appreciate the pitch where you intended it to come from.

PITCH: 10