Will Shaw pitch thread

Wshaw15 wrote:

So I was thinking we could do a psa where we could have bertone and we could have him in the locker room giving a speech for a big game and we could really say anything. I think this could be funny

NOV 14

I like where this COULD head, but it needs significant more planning/details to be sure it maximizes the potentially high ceiling.

PITCH: 9 (would be 10 if pitched with more detail)

Wshaw15 wrote:

Thank you chris bertone for having beautiful lettuce and a great attitude

NOV 18

This kind of misses the mark of where we're headed with the Thank You notes bit. It needs to be something everyone can relate to. No matter how many people you think know Chris Bertone, there are like 1,400 people here...that leaves a lot of people in the dark here.

PITCH: 8

Wshaw15 wrote:

Thank you backpacks for giving my backpain everyday of my high school career

NOV 24

Decent start. Punchline could use more pop/development.

PITCH: 9

Wshaw15 wrote:

December 2

So I was thinking that we could have bertone and it is a big day for hime because he has to make a speech. But the only problem is that no one can understand him. So he starts of his speech and everyone in the autotorium starts yelling cause they cant understand him then I come up to the stage and im like wait I can understand what hes saying. Then I get up and translate the whole speech for him and everyone love it and gets up and starts clapping.

DEC 2

Outstanding potential here. If you get this right, it could be pretty classic. Because you never got the joke PSA on the air, it might totally work to add in that everyone gets amped up about you ("Yeah, Will!" and "Preach it, Will!" etc. etc.) so the fact that it's Bertone's speech gets lost on the audience entirely. Could add an extra layer to the comedy there. But I love the potential with this.

PITCH: 10

Wshaw15 wrote:

Thank you shoes for letting me walk in you

DEC 4

There's literally no punchline.

PITCH: 7 (generous)

December 12

Thank you lunch ladies for filling my tummy with delicious food

Wshaw15 wrote:

December 12

Thank you lunch ladies for filling my tummy with delicious food

DEC 12

There's no punchline!

PITCH: 7

November 15,

So for a pitch I was thinking one day me and Westy walk into class and see that we have landry. We are so excited and can't wait to play landry trivia. Then Landry says he is going to give us a pop quiz and me and Westy look at each other and we're like "Landry never gives pop quizzes, this isn't like him. we need to get to the bottom of this" Then we look up to the front of class and see landry doing an evil laugh like he was planning something. Then after class we could follow landry and we could catch him doing something that throws his whole day of. I haven't really thought how to end it yet but I think we could make this funny.

November 17,

For a pitch I wAs thinking that one day we walk into class and we see that Bretons is the substitute teacher. And we all just look at each other and I go "bertone, I didn't know you got your masters." and he's like "ya I've really been working on it and I hope to become a Full time teacher" and then i get up and congratulate him then everyone is just looking at me and bertone like they have no idea what we are talking about then he starts teaching the class and we could either have bertone be really smart or we could have him just say complete nonsense that has nothing to do with the class

December 22,

Thank you summer for reminding me how much I hate doing work

January 5,

So for a pitch I was thinking that we could have bertone and nevin getting ready for a big hockey game and then we could have me come in and give them an inspirational speech. But we could say different funny sayings. And we could either have what im saying make no sense like or we could make it serious but still funny.

January 7,

Thank you texting for showing us that we dont know how to talk to people in real life

January 13,

Thank you snow days for letting me relive my childhood

January 15,

Thank you headphones for not letting me listen to music because youre tangled all the time

Wshaw15 wrote:

November 15,

So for a pitch I was thinking one day me and Westy walk into class and see that we have landry. We are so excited and can't wait to play landry trivia. Then Landry says he is going to give us a pop quiz and me and Westy look at each other and we're like "Landry never gives pop quizzes, this isn't like him. we need to get to the bottom of this" Then we look up to the front of class and see landry doing an evil laugh like he was planning something. Then after class we could follow landry and we could catch him doing something that throws his whole day of. I haven't really thought how to end it yet but I think we could make this funny.

D16

COULD be something interesting here, but it clearly needs a ton of development to know for sure.

9

January 17,

So for a psa I was thinking bertone and I could start talking about prom and how bertone is to scared to ask this girl. And then I do some training with him to help him build up his courage and he then finally asks the girl and she ends up saying no

Wshaw15 wrote:

November 17,

For a pitch I wAs thinking that one day we walk into class and we see that Bretons is the substitute teacher. And we all just look at each other and I go "bertone, I didn't know you got your masters." and he's like "ya I've really been working on it and I hope to become a Full time teacher"  and then i get up and congratulate him then everyone is just looking at me and bertone like they have no idea what we are talking about then he starts teaching the class and we could either have bertone be really smart or we could have him just say complete nonsense that has nothing to do with the class

D18

It's not fully developed obviously, but it's headed in a good direction and has potential if you can figure out the ending.

10

Wshaw15 wrote:

December 22,

Thank you summer for reminding me how much I hate doing work

D22

Wording needs some revision here, but it could turn into a contender.

9

Wshaw15 wrote:

January 5,

So for a pitch I was thinking that we could have bertone and nevin getting ready for a big hockey game and then we could have me come in and give them an inspirational speech. But we could say different funny sayings. And we could either have what im saying make no sense like or we could make it serious but still funny.

J5

Could be quite funny, but needs specifics figured out for sure.

10

Wshaw15 wrote:

January 7,

Thank you texting for showing us that we dont know how to talk to people in real life

J7

High potential with this one.

10

Wshaw15 wrote:

January 13,

Thank you snow days for letting me relive my childhood

J13

Love this one. Spot on.

10