Rachael MacKinnon pitch thread

rmackinnon wrote:

Thank you yellow lights... For turning every streetlight into a moment of "should I totally gun it or slam on the brakes?"

J12

Great topic, but punchline needs reworking.

9

rmackinnon wrote:

"The SNO Jungle." So once one year asked a guy to senior night out last week, the flood gates just literally opened up. I mean, this has turned into the ecosystem of a jungle. Girls are on the prowl for a date and everyone wants to ask someone now. So we start off (a group of girls) sitting in a circle having a civil conversation then someone mentions how the initial asker has already asked... Everyone pauses... Looks about the room in distrust... Then BAM! Wild jungle music starts playing and we are all on the prowl. We are growling and claiming the boys we are gonna ask. For example, Kat and Sarah both see Will and they are stalking him from behind the wall. Then they go into full pounce mode and fight right in front of him. Kat ends up beating Sarah to Will and drags him away. To reiterate the jungle theme, Sarah can "lick her paw" in disgust and walk away. The end text will be "SNO is in the Air, It's a Jungle Out There."

J14

This could be good, and it's timely, but as it's currently pitched, I feel like the ceiling is higher on some of your other ideas. So I'd suggest going for others instead, OR revisiting this via further discussion to see how the ceiling of it could be raised.

10

rmackinnon wrote:

I did the lyrics for our coffee rap:
MLous, Dunkies, Starbucks x 4
Where I blow all my bucks,
In the Starbucks line man it's so long,
I needa venti hot mocha by the end of this song,
I needa double ristretto venti half soy
Nonfat decaf organic chocolate brownie iced,
Vanilla double shot gingerbread frappucino
Extra hot with foam whipped cream upside down
Double blended one sweet n' low and one nutrasweet
And don't forget, do for- don't forget that ice!
*chorus*
If I'm late to school,
It's all cool,
Hold up Hun,
I hide the java, sneak past howerton,
This godforsaken walk is a mile, takes a while,
So cold and not nice, turns my hot to iced,
I see my girls and I nod "wassup,"
Ow! My hand is freezing, didn't get a hot cup,
Still have my PSL by the end of the day,
Can't you see that PSLs are bae?
By the way did I say
That this espresso,
Makes me feel wicked hyper so here we go:
So today I like took a wicked hard math test and I'm pretty sure I took the derivative of the wrong function oh oh oh oh oh oh SIEVE! Huh!
*chorus*
MLous flava of the month,
They be reppin it,
Put some extra sugar
Don't forget that whip,
Blueberry, Twix, Turtle, Minty-Lou,
You could bathe in it
I don't care whatcha do,
Anyway ya take it, it's gonna be great,
I've decided this Starbucks line's worth the wait,
If I were to give this a rate outta ten,
I'd give it a solid e-lev-en,
Uh oh I feel it coming on,
This coffee crash, I'm already halfway gone,
Looks like a needa start, drinkin some Jo,
I've already had 8 cups today doe!
*chorus*
Broskis we'll catch ya on the flip,
And remember:
Don't be shy!
Here have a sip!!!

J16

#dropsthemic

10

rmackinnon wrote:

This PSA involves the use of the small studio in MCTV, and if it works out, I can ask Jon if we could use it for a couple minutes. So it starts off with Sarah and I at the desk, and Sarah is getting fed up with how excruciatingly painful my jokes are today. Everytime I try to crack a joke, Sarah cringes. Finally, she calls you (Shack) to the desk and explains that maybe I should do some time in solitary confinement where all the washed up anchors go. I go in there and it looks very mysterious to everyone watching because obviously they haven't seen this studio before. I'm saying "Good morning Marshfield" in a sing-song voice, and "Be kind, be fearless, be happy" in a jittery mumble. Finally, we have a SpongeBob panel come up with "three hours later" and Sarah slides a V8 into the room. The PSA suddenly shifts into a random advertisement for a PSA. Sarah and I do an awkward jingle of "They look gross but they make ya kinda funny!" The rest is a slow-motion montage of Sarah and I back in harmonious agreement.

Yeah that PSA took a turn.

J21

Wow, I kinda love this. It's worth discussing some to make sure we have all the right details ironed out for max benefit, but I like where it's headed.

10

rmackinnon wrote:

Thank you Twitter... For being so economically great. Being an online diary, like you are, really eliminates all the paper waste we used in our normal diaries before getting a twitter account.

J23

I like the idea of expanding on the punchline here, though the wording could be tightened up some. But it's a great foundation for a contender that could work well.

10

Since the snow was such a big story, Sarah and I go out to discuss it. Kat can be our correspondent back at the studio. What I noticed about watching so much of the weather this weekend is the awkward delay while the people out at the scene do. Obviously they are waiting for the people at the studio to finish what they are saying, but it looks so awkward to us. So Kat can ask us a question, and we stare and smile at the camera for a wicked long time. Like 7 seconds. After doing that a couple times, Kat finally asks "Is there any reason why you guys are taking so long to answer? Is the delay really that long?" And we answer with "Oh god no we just like to make the viewers feel that much more uncomfortable." Kat continues to ask us questions. We talk about certain snow drifts, the "fluff factor" of the snow, but we keep up the awkward intensity. We'll have to write out a script with a PSA like this because we'll film Kat's part all at once, then the double correspondent part all at once.

Thank you Chipotle... For your long lines that wrap around the entire establishment, no matter what time of day it is. I really needed that extra 25 minutes to decide if what I'm about to eat is the right thing to do.

Thank you meteorologists.... For confirming that there are, in fact, high winds in the blizzard. I was totally unable to tell from your sideways hair and the 4 trees down in my backyard.

Thank you MHS sidewalks... for being a complete sheet of straight up ice. I was really hoping to perfect my ice-skating skills, and you just saved me so much time!

Thank you brown paper bags... For trying to hold my lunch, but #notdoingyourjob. I guess it's my fault because I continue to use you, even after you rip at the bottom and my entire lunch spills out.

The starting text is "3 weeks ago today..." There's a group of us sitting in the room and someone says "Ugh this winter is awful, huh? Not a single flake of snow yet!" And another says "Yeah, and we're seniors this year. This is the worst winter ever." Then someone suggests we do a snow dance. We all get up out of our chairs and do a pre-arranged ritual and snow chant.
The next slide of text says "Today." We walk over to the window and everyone is in horror. We go outside and someone screams "WHAT HAVE WE DONE??"
The ending text is "Snowmageddon 2015."

Thank you shopping carts... for always having one wheel just slightly off track with the three others.

rmackinnon wrote:

Since the snow was such a big story, Sarah and I go out to discuss it. Kat can be our correspondent back at the studio. What I noticed about watching so much of the weather this weekend is the awkward delay while the people out at the scene do. Obviously they are waiting for the people at the studio to finish what they are saying, but it looks so awkward to us. So Kat can ask us a question, and we stare and smile at the camera for a wicked long time. Like 7 seconds. After doing that a couple times, Kat finally asks "Is there any reason why you guys are taking so long to answer? Is the delay really that long?" And we answer with "Oh god no we just like to make the viewers feel that much more uncomfortable." Kat continues to ask us questions. We talk about certain snow drifts, the "fluff factor" of the snow, but we keep up the awkward intensity. We'll have to write out a script with a PSA like this because we'll film Kat's part all at once, then the double correspondent part all at once.

F4

Has strong potential if planning and delivery are nailed, but the awkward silence element also makes it risky if plan/execution are off at all. That doesn't mean it's not worth doing, just that it's critical to account for that element ahead of time.

10

rmackinnon wrote:

Thank you Chipotle... For your long lines that wrap around the entire establishment, no matter what time of day it is. I really needed that extra 25 minutes to decide if what I'm about to eat is the right thing to do.

F6

Strong potential here from what I hear. I've never eaten there, so it doesn't resonate with me as much, but I hear it's all the rage, so I assume this is spot on.

10

rmackinnon wrote:

Thank you meteorologists.... For confirming that there are, in fact, high winds in the blizzard. I was totally unable to tell from your sideways hair and the 4 trees down in my backyard.

F12

Good topic, punchline end could be tightened up some though via further discussion/brainstorming to get it just right.

10

rmackinnon wrote:

Thank you MHS sidewalks... for being a complete sheet of straight up ice. I was really hoping to perfect my ice-skating skills, and you just saved me so much time!

F23

Good, but tweak the back end, something about ice time being expensive, so you're actually saving both money and time. Worth exploring that angle anyway.

10

rmackinnon wrote:

Thank you brown paper bags... For trying to hold my lunch, but #notdoingyourjob. I guess it's my fault because I continue to use you, even after you rip at the bottom and my entire lunch spills out.

F25

Outstanding topic because of how everyday it is, but the punchline end needs work. But I love it as a topic and think it needs using.

10

rmackinnon wrote:

The starting text is "3 weeks ago today..." There's a group of us sitting in the room and someone says "Ugh this winter is awful, huh? Not a single flake of snow yet!" And another says "Yeah, and we're seniors this year. This is the worst winter ever." Then someone suggests we do a snow dance. We all get up out of our chairs and do a pre-arranged ritual and snow chant.
The next slide of text says "Today." We walk over to the window and everyone is in horror. We go outside and someone screams "WHAT HAVE WE DONE??"
The ending text is "Snowmageddon 2015."

F27

It's good, solid/strong potential, but the ceiling of the laugh is limited as it's currently written. Worth exploring what we could do with a few tweaks here to raise its ceiling.

10

rmackinnon wrote:

Thank you shopping carts... for always having one wheel just slightly off track with the three others.

M3

Great topic, but I kind of feel like I haven't arrived at the punchline yet. It's missing something on the back end for sure.

9

I was watching one of those dumb infomercials that's on for about an hour at a time and I thought about how ridiculous it was. They were trying to sell an oven and they go so over the top with it that it actually pained me to watch it. So I thought: What if Sarah and I could sell something that everyone already has? For example, what if we are trying to sell a blender, or a microwave, and we showcase it by putting food in it and testing it out.
R- So here we have a mixer-upper 3000.
S- And you know, you can really make some mean blends with this.
R- This is not your average blender!!! It mixes food up to 30 times more!!
S- Really incredible, let's try it out. We are gonna create one of my favorite home cooked meals today.
R- Let's starts with a banana, some chicken breast, 3 shards of lettuce, and oatmeal.
S- Toss it all in their. And you know Rachael, this is so healthy!! Such healthy food choices.
R- Yes so it's convenient, and you're also gonna have a hot beach bod!!
And so on. It ends with us "tasting" the concoction and trying to hold back vomit.

"Brave MHS Version." [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I saw this skit on SNL last Saturday and immediately thought that it would be very fun to create and doable for us. We can tailor it to MHS things though, like "Will you carry me up the Rexhame Staircase?" and the response will be "ya know what? No. I won't. I'm done giving you piggy backs up this godforsaken stairway." Then "Brave" starts playing and they are running up the stairs by themselves. If we can get Linsky or Ms. Marples to join in, we can have someone walking out with a book and they stop them and say "That is the last time you steal a book out of here" then start laughing and dancing and high five each other. Same for asking other students about copying homework and stealing parking spots in the parking lot.

rmackinnon wrote:

I was watching one of those dumb infomercials that's on for about an hour at a time and I thought about how ridiculous it was. They were trying to sell an oven and they go so over the top with it that it actually pained me to watch it. So I thought: What if Sarah and I could sell something that everyone already has? For example, what if we are trying to sell a blender, or a microwave, and we showcase it by putting food in it and testing it out.
R- So here we have a mixer-upper 3000.
S- And you know, you can really make some mean blends with this.
R- This is not your average blender!!! It mixes food up to 30 times more!!
S- Really incredible, let's try it out. We are gonna create one of my favorite home cooked meals today.
R- Let's starts with a banana, some chicken breast, 3 shards of lettuce, and oatmeal.
S- Toss it all in their. And you know Rachael, this is so healthy!! Such healthy food choices.
R- Yes so it's convenient, and you're also gonna have a hot beach bod!!
And so on. It ends with us "tasting" the concoction and trying to hold back vomit.

M5

Excellent potential if you can work out the details right. Something tells me there's an even better product than a blender though. Let's discuss.

10

We do a "before" and we are walking down the hall in slinger and the screen is black and white. Then a VoiceOver says "now you can walk the halls with style featuring: Keuther's playlist!!!" (We'll have to ask him if that's fine cuz I don't know if he'll be insulted or not). But then the VoiceOver will say "call know and you'll get 4, count em, 4 songs!!" "Featuring: the piano man!! (A scene of us walking with style down the halls to piano man), Magic!!! (Another scene), Year 3000!!!! (Another scene), and Good Life!!!!!(another scene)." Call and get your 4-song playlist today! So you too can walk the hallways with style!!

Thank you March.... For always keeping me on my toes. Should I wear my parka? Perhaps a light jacket? No jacket at all? Galoshes? Not rain boots, but galoshes? Snow pants? I live for the thrill, March.

So since prom is coming up, and Sarah and I have copious amounts of experience with prom since we went last year, we are basically experts on hair and makeup. We do a walk-through, step by step, tutorial on hair and makeup styles, and trends that are hot for 2015. It's easy to see right off the bat that we really have no idea what we are doing with makeup. We put blush on where foundation is supposed to go and quickly just like rub it off and explain what we are doing. We take the mascara wand and go "so this is probably eyeliner cuz it has the eyeliner-like shape" and by the end of the video we look somewhat similar to circus clowns and we say "now you know how to look fab on prom day!"