Rachael MacKinnon pitch thread

rmackinnon wrote:

Two people start having a conversation while eating. They have food in their mouths and they completely exaggerate what it sounds like to talk with food in their mouth. Under them, there's captions that describe what they are saying, but it sounds nothing like what they are actually saying. Then another person comes up with food in their mouth and continues talking. More people join the conversation and it gets to the point where everyone (like 6 people) are just talking with a mouthful of food. Super awkward. The ending text is "Don't Eat and Talk." Or something like that.

I like the potential here a lot. Iron out the details to make sure you set yourself up for success on it, but I like what it could become.

On a side note, this somehow also made me think of a fun possible spin here (or somewhere else with an entirely new subject) as a Rosetta Stone program. Like a Rosetta Stone for old people to understand texting lingo, something like that. Just a thought.

PITCH: 10

We dress as Dora the Explora (pink top, orange pants) and it's just a group of us that literally cannot find anything. We are searching for our homework and it's right in front of us.
"Sarah, can you find my pencil??"
"Hmm.. Is it this *points at paper*"
"No, not that..."
*takes out binoculars*
"What about that *points at coffee cup*"
"Hmm.. I think we are getting closer"
Suddenly Tyna and Katherine appear out of no where, dressed as Swiper and steal all of me and Sarah's stuff. We scream "Swiper no swiping," but oddly enough, the Swiper's don't stop.

Have you ever been in a store and the store clerks appear out of no where and ask if you need everything? And almost every time you say "no I'm just looking." Well this is an exaggeration of store clerks appearing out of random things and watching with binoculars from afar as we "shop." They are crawling out from underneath tables, out of closets etc. We make the telecomm look like a clothing store and they just keep asking that same darn question.

rmackinnon wrote:

We dress as Dora the Explora (pink top, orange pants) and it's just a group of us that literally cannot find anything. We are searching for our homework and it's right in front of us.
"Sarah, can you find my pencil??"
"Hmm.. Is it this *points at paper*"
"No, not that..."
*takes out binoculars*
"What about that *points at coffee cup*"
"Hmm.. I think we are getting closer"
Suddenly Tyna and Katherine appear out of no where, dressed as Swiper and steal all of me and Sarah's stuff. We scream "Swiper no swiping," but oddly enough, the Swiper's don't stop.

Something very fun to be done here. I like the twist you have on the Dora concept; by that I mean that I like that you're kind of just incorporating the Dora style into an everyday life scene (rather than as a full-fledged Dora mission). There are lots of possibilities to discuss here, so let's do so. I assume you've seen the old Mel & Shannon version, but in case you haven't, be sure you're familiar with it. Theirs was long, but they had some very funny elements in it. Here's the link:

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PITCH: 10

rmackinnon wrote:

Have you ever been in a store and the store clerks appear out of no where and ask if you need everything? And almost every time you say "no I'm just looking." Well this is an exaggeration of store clerks appearing out of random things and watching with binoculars from afar as we "shop." They are crawling out from underneath tables, out of closets etc. We make the telecomm look like a clothing store and they just keep asking that same darn question.

Definitely some fun/interesting potential here, but it definitely needs significant further discussion to work out details too.

PITCH: 9

We make a commercial for a law firm. Ya know how they aaaaaall look the same? We are going to make ours a cookie-cutter replica as well. Katherine will start by saying she got injured in some accident. She will explain how she called "MacKinnon Hastry Toasteroven and Sons, Incorporated." It flashes to me and Sarah in slow motion, wearing suits, and pointing at a folder. Then it goes to Tyna and she got injured in some surgical procedure. She explains her surgical procedure while cutting tomatoes in her kitchen or something stupid like that. Or holding a dog. Or cleaning the dishes. You know how these commercials are. Then it cuts to me and Sarah, completely serious straight faces, suits, glasses. Then we say the phone number about 15 times.

rmackinnon wrote:

We make a commercial for a law firm. Ya know how they aaaaaall look the same? We are going to make ours a cookie-cutter replica as well. Katherine will start by saying she got injured in some accident. She will explain how she called "MacKinnon Hastry Toasteroven and Sons, Incorporated." It flashes to me and Sarah in slow motion, wearing suits, and pointing at a folder. Then it goes to Tyna and she got injured in some surgical procedure. She explains her surgical procedure while cutting tomatoes in her kitchen or something stupid like that. Or holding a dog. Or cleaning the dishes. You know how these commercials are. Then it cuts to me and Sarah, completely serious straight faces, suits, glasses. Then we say the phone number about 15 times.

  

I love it. Do this.   

PITCH: 10

"How To Dance at Prom." This is an over-the-top info commercial about different dance steps and styles to do at prom. There is one of us leading the group of hopefuls and the dance moves are ridiculous. I picture as many graphics and background noises as the Work Out World commercials with like "WOOOOOOW!" and "oooooh yeah" in the background. We are dressed in 80s style clothes. The ending is a picture of the DVD we are selling for 2 easy payments of $5.16. (Ha ha get it?? The date of prom).

"Vending Machine Soap Opera." So I went to the vending machine cuz I was famished the other day and I inserted my dollar and it did not accept it. I look at the message on the vending machine screen and it said "COINS ONLY." I just watched an SNL lonely island digital short called "The Shooting aka Dear Sister" and it reminded me of a spin off we could do involving the vending machine and obviously not a shooting. Every time someone goes to the vending machine and their dollar gets denied, the part that goes "ooh whatcha say" in "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap plays. The student falls to the ground in slow motion. It goes to a montage of people getting denied and the song just keeps saying that line over and over and over itself again.

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"A Day in the Life of a Boy." (For Tuesday May 13). So me, Sarah, Tyna, and Katherine dress in all boys clothes with hats and everything. We are walking down the hallway discussing football tryouts as we hold our own gallons of water. Sarah goes "Hey MacKinnon, I think your, uh, keychain is falling out of your pocket." I respond with something along the lines of "Nah, bruh, Hastry it's my new lanyard from Vineyard vines. I like to keep it hanging out of my left pocket so everyone knows I have my license." Tyna talks about how (s)he killed the biggest spider this morning, and Katherine talks about how she's trying out to be the center on the football field, and Thomas Reilly doesn't stand a chance (the satire in this is that Tom is the center and he is the biggest kid in our grade). The next shot is us at lunch and each one of us has like 6 lunches. We throw food at each other and talk about monster trucks, etc. It ends with us carrying our gallons of water (with like 2 sips drinken from them) out to tryouts and we are wearing football helmets.

(Homework for Thursday May 15)
"Let it Go" -MHS Edition
*to the time of Let it Go by Idina Menzel, from Frozen*

The homework builds up on my table tonight,
Not a brain cell to be seen,
A kingdom of procrastination,
And it looks like, I'm the queen,
My brain is scared for this upcoming test in sight,
Don't even know what it's on,
At least I tried.
***
It hurts my head,
My hand is cramped,
All of written down so far's the date,
I really hope,
Tomorrow's not,
A homework check!

Chorus:
Let it go! Let it go!
Cant do this math no more!
Let it go! Let it go!
What is a logarithm for?!
I don't care!!
What my teachers say!
I'm gonna throw it away,
.........just kidding I want to go to college

*rest of the PSA is us running around picking up all the homework we threw away or threw on the ground*

(For Monday May 19) "The Awkward News Cast." Picture it. Sarah is sitting at a news desk. Rifling through papers, keeps stuttering, hitting her head saying "stupid stupid stupid!!" She them says "send it to chief meteorologist Rachael. The camera pans to me and I get startled and my glasses fall off. I bend down out of the camera frame and come back up with pit stains. I'm shaking and stuttering and trying to predict the weather. "Um so it's gonna be raining.. I think..... But if it doesn't PLEASE DONT GET MAD!! OKAY SEND IT TO A FIELD REPORT! Ermm. Um. Okay bye." Katherine and Tyna appear on the split screen style and keep accidentally cutting eachother off and keep saying sorry. They have sweat all over their faces. It's just so uncomfortable. Picture it.

(For Wednesday May 21) "Interview With Justin Bieber." One of us wears a wig tht looks like Justin Bieber's hair. We are wearing an orange jumpsuit and we even have the earrings that he usually wears. "Justin" is getting interviewed about his music and how he feels about his actions. Every single time he responds with "uh.. I uh. I just do not care. Just don't care" or "uh nah I'm too cool bruh." The questions escalate all the way up to the interviewer holding up a photo of the cutest dog on the world and Justin just goes "mmm don't care. Sorry. Just kidding I'm actually not sorry." The interview fades out with Justin Bieber's first hit single "Baby" playing in the background.

(For Friday May 23) "Texting James Franco." Okay I'm just gonna start off satin. I'm not sure if you're gonna love this or think it's a bad look. No idea but here goes nothin'. So the four of us are sitting around gossiping, talking about school, talking about summer, etc. We are doing over the top girl things like painting our nails and blah blah blah. Then all of our phones get a text at the same time. There's a separate camera shot of each one of our faces looking at the phone in slow motion.
Me: Ooh just got a text.
Sarah: Oh wait same here.
Katherine: Uh yeah me too.
Tyna: *blows bubblegum* So did I.
All at the same time: Yeah but mines from James Franco.
*PSA ends*

rmackinnon wrote:

"How To Dance at Prom." This is an over-the-top info commercial about different dance steps and styles to do at prom. There is one of us leading the group of hopefuls and the dance moves are ridiculous. I picture as many graphics and background noises as the Work Out World commercials with like "WOOOOOOW!" and "oooooh yeah" in the background. We are dressed in 80s style clothes. The ending is a picture of the DVD we are selling for 2 easy payments of $5.16. (Ha ha get it?? The date of prom).

I like it a lot. Even though we didn't get this done, it could totally be adapted for Homecoming in the fall.

PITCH: 10

rmackinnon wrote:

"Vending Machine Soap Opera." So I went to the vending machine cuz I was famished the other day and I inserted my dollar and it did not accept it. I look at the message on the vending machine screen and it said "COINS ONLY." I just watched an SNL lonely island digital short called "The Shooting aka Dear Sister" and it reminded me of a spin off we could do involving the vending machine and obviously not a shooting. Every time someone goes to the vending machine and their dollar gets denied, the part that goes "ooh whatcha say" in "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap plays. The student falls to the ground in slow motion. It goes to a montage of people getting denied and the song just keeps saying that line over and over and over itself again.

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Whoa. This is so weird, because my brother and I were just discussing this same bit the other day, and we were talking about how it's a joke that totally can be adapted into something we could use on the show. 

The thing that's interesting about the original SNL video is that it is ONLY funny because of the editing and video technique. There is almost nothing in the video itself which is technically funny. I mean, I guess the reference to The O.C. scene is funny if you watched that show, but even if you never saw The O.C. you think that SNL video is funny - but it's only because of the editing technique.

So my point is that we can absolutely use it to adapt to our format, and I like the vending machine concept as a vehicle to make it work.

PITCH: 10

rmackinnon wrote:

"A Day in the Life of a Boy." (For Tuesday May 13). So me, Sarah, Tyna, and Katherine dress in all boys clothes with hats and everything. We are walking down the hallway discussing football tryouts as we hold our own gallons of water. Sarah goes "Hey MacKinnon, I think your, uh, keychain is falling out of your pocket." I respond with something along the lines of "Nah, bruh, Hastry it's my new lanyard from Vineyard vines. I like to keep it hanging out of my left pocket so everyone knows I have my license." Tyna talks about how (s)he killed the biggest spider this morning, and Katherine talks about how she's trying out to be the center on the football field, and Thomas Reilly doesn't stand a chance (the satire in this is that Tom is the center and he is the biggest kid in our grade). The next shot is us at lunch and each one of us has like 6 lunches. We throw food at each other and talk about monster trucks, etc. It ends with us carrying our gallons of water (with like 2 sips drinken from them) out to tryouts and we are wearing football helmets.

This is a good, fun bit, but it's important to get the tone just right. If it's overdone, it risks falling flatter than it should. There's a degree of subtlety we need to maintain with some of this. Let's talk about it further in class if it's something you're interested in pursuing.

PITCH: 10

rmackinnon wrote:

(Homework for Thursday May 15)
"Let it Go" -MHS Edition
*to the time of Let it Go by Idina Menzel, from Frozen*

The homework builds up on my table tonight,
Not a brain cell to be seen,
A kingdom of procrastination,
And it looks like, I'm the queen,
My brain is scared for this upcoming test in sight,
Don't even know what it's on,
At least I tried.
***
It hurts my head,
My hand is cramped,
All of written down so far's the date,
I really hope,
Tomorrow's not,
A homework check!

Chorus:
Let it go! Let it go!
Cant do this math no more!
Let it go! Let it go!
What is a logarithm for?!
I don't care!!
What my teachers say!
I'm gonna throw it away,
.........just kidding I want to go to college

*rest of the PSA is us running around picking up all the homework we threw away or threw on the ground*

Let's discuss this further asap. I wonder if it needs to come out this year if we're to make this happen (might feel like old news by next fall). High ceiling though obviously if you nail it.

PITCH: 10

rmackinnon wrote:

(For Monday May 19) "The Awkward News Cast." Picture it. Sarah is sitting at a news desk. Rifling through papers, keeps stuttering, hitting her head saying "stupid stupid stupid!!" She them says "send it to chief meteorologist Rachael. The camera pans to me and I get startled and my glasses fall off. I bend down out of the camera frame and come back up with pit stains. I'm shaking and stuttering and trying to predict the weather. "Um so it's gonna be raining.. I think..... But if it doesn't PLEASE DONT GET MAD!! OKAY SEND IT TO A FIELD REPORT! Ermm. Um. Okay bye." Katherine and Tyna appear on the split screen style and keep accidentally cutting eachother off and keep saying sorry. They have sweat all over their faces. It's just so uncomfortable. Picture it.

I can, in fact, totally picture it. The bit has an extremely high ceiling, but it's hugely underrated and under-appreciated how much skill goes into pulling the acting off in a bit like this. If you can nail this, I will be monumentally impressed and excited for next year.

PITCH: 10

rmackinnon wrote:

(For Wednesday May 21) "Interview With Justin Bieber." One of us wears a wig tht looks like Justin Bieber's hair. We are wearing an orange jumpsuit and we even have the earrings that he usually wears. "Justin" is getting interviewed about his music and how he feels about his actions. Every single time he responds with "uh.. I uh. I just do not care. Just don't care" or "uh nah I'm too cool bruh." The questions escalate all the way up to the interviewer holding up a photo of the cutest dog on the world and Justin just goes "mmm don't care. Sorry. Just kidding I'm actually not sorry." The interview fades out with Justin Bieber's first hit single "Baby" playing in the background.

Tons of potential if you script this right, but it could easily fall flat if the script is weak. So it's a boom/bust piece. It's critical to get your writing on point ahead of time. You should know whether this is going to be a hit or not before you ever turn on a camera (based on how strong your script for it is).

PITCH: 10

rmackinnon wrote:

(For Friday May 23) "Texting James Franco." Okay I'm just gonna start off satin. I'm not sure if you're gonna love this or think it's a bad look. No idea but here goes nothin'. So the four of us are sitting around gossiping, talking about school, talking about summer, etc. We are doing over the top girl things like painting our nails and blah blah blah. Then all of our phones get a text at the same time. There's a separate camera shot of each one of our faces looking at the phone in slow motion.
Me: Ooh just got a text.
Sarah: Oh wait same here.
Katherine: Uh yeah me too.
Tyna: *blows bubblegum* So did I.
All at the same time: Yeah but mines from James Franco.
*PSA ends*

Unless there's an inside joke to this that I'm not aware of, it feels like it kind of HAS to go further. Don't get me wrong, I love the restraint you're showing in ending it like you do here, but a cliff ending can be satisfying or frustrating, and I feel like this is closer to the latter unless--like I said--there's more to this that I'm not aware of. So explain it to me in class. But I like the general shell of it a ton, just not sure about the ending.

PITCH: 10

"Yay Summer." We are all talking about the fun upcoming summer activities because we only have 5 classes of each class left. Sarah talks about the beach, Tyna talks about getting tan, Katherine talks about icecream, and I talk about campfires. Then, it goes to our dreamy thought bubbles and we are doing everything in winter jackets and winter hats and boots and snow pants because it's still so cold out. We are tanning on the beach on towels in all our winter gear. It flashes from activity to activity and we are always in our winter clothes. When we get back from our thought bubble, we question if it even is summer yet.

"Have A Great Summer, From B Block Telecomm." I want to make a montage of all our classes PSAs from throughout the year but take the sound out of them. Instead, the background music is "Summer" by Calvin Harris. (Link here [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] ). We range all the way from bits and pieces of "Because of Ocean State Job Lot" to the "Leggings Rap" to the "Rams Den" promo to the "Tooken" trailer. Mixed in with our pieces is some artsy footage of people in our class laughing/waving goodbye/passing a beach ball/wearing sunglasses. The end text says "Have a Very Happy Summer" and then the next text slide says "Love, B Block."

"Goodbye MHS." We do a goodbye video to the old MHS. I don't want it to be like the boys' music video though, something different. Maybe we can go around and ask people what they will miss the most. And we can highlight the trademark symbols of this school, for example: the "white" hallway, Howerton's desk, the snack shack, the Ram's Den, and the gym. The ending shot as the music dies down is the shot from the physics balloon camera looking over the new school. It fades into text: See You in September.