Rachael MacKinnon pitch thread

This is a super short PSA about the school year coming to and end. We start with two students walking up the stairs with giant backpacks. They are walking so slow up the stairs as if it is Mount Everest. Them it cross fades into someone during a test. And they dose off then then bam, just fall asleep on the desk. The end text is "Stay strong, we're almost there."

rmackinnon wrote:

"Yay Summer." We are all talking about the fun upcoming summer activities because we only have 5 classes of each class left. Sarah talks about the beach, Tyna talks about getting tan, Katherine talks about icecream, and I talk about campfires. Then, it goes to our dreamy thought bubbles and we are doing everything in winter jackets and winter hats and boots and snow pants because it's still so cold out. We are tanning on the beach on towels in all our winter gear. It flashes from activity to activity and we are always in our winter clothes. When we get back from our thought bubble, we question if it even is summer yet.

Funny concept, could get tweaked to apply elsewhere down the line perhaps. Solid pitch though.

PITCH: 10

rmackinnon wrote:

"Have A Great Summer, From B Block Telecomm." I want to make a montage of all our classes PSAs from throughout the year but take the sound out of them. Instead, the background music is "Summer" by Calvin Harris. (Link here [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] ). We range all the way from bits and pieces of "Because of Ocean State Job Lot" to the "Leggings Rap" to the "Rams Den" promo to the "Tooken" trailer. Mixed in with our pieces is some artsy footage of people in our class laughing/waving goodbye/passing a beach ball/wearing sunglasses. The end text says "Have a Very Happy Summer" and then the next text slide says "Love, B Block."

Cool idea, but I liked your tweak to make it the fake breakup of your crew.

PITCH: 10

rmackinnon wrote:

"Goodbye MHS." We do a goodbye video to the old MHS. I don't want it to be like the boys' music video though, something different. Maybe we can go around and ask people what they will miss the most. And we can highlight the trademark symbols of this school, for example: the "white" hallway, Howerton's desk, the snack shack, the Ram's Den, and the gym. The ending shot as the music dies down is the shot from the physics balloon camera looking over the new school. It fades into text: See You in September.

Your pitch is rock solid here. We tried to get SOMEthing like this with the field report about what people will miss. It didn't hit all the marks you mention here, but it was still a decent, fun send-off on our final show.

PITCH: 10

rmackinnon wrote:

This is a super short PSA about the school year coming to and end. We start with two students walking up the stairs with giant backpacks. They are walking so slow up the stairs as if it is Mount Everest. Them it cross fades into someone during a test. And they dose off then then bam, just fall asleep on the desk. The end text is "Stay strong, we're almost there."

Could maybe tweak it for the end of senior year next year. Maybe add a little more to it to give it a higher ceiling.

2014-2015 HOMEWORK #1: 10

On the first day of class, the show opens up with two "make-up artists" putting the finishing touches on me and Sarah's faces. They are standing in such a way that it blocks our faces. Then they step away and our faces are so absolutely drenched in make-up that we look like circus clowns. We explain the perks of being an anchor and how it means we have the opportunity to get out make-up put on. "And I read online that you should always put more make-up on than you think for when you go on TV." Half-way through the announcements, we touch our ears as if we are getting a message on an ear device. We just sit there in shock. "Okay.. so we did not realize that these new cameras would be higher definition.." We smear the make-up and it only makes it worse. At the end, we say:
"Signing off, I'm Rachael"
"And I'm Sarah"
"And we have a circus audition to catch."

rmackinnon wrote:

On the first day of class, the show opens up with two "make-up artists" putting the finishing touches on me and Sarah's faces. They are standing in such a way that it blocks our faces. Then they step away and our faces are so absolutely drenched in make-up that we look like circus clowns. We explain the perks of being an anchor and how it means we have the opportunity to get out make-up put on. "And I read online that you should always put more make-up on than you think for when you go on TV." Half-way through the announcements, we touch our ears as if we are getting a message on an ear device. We just sit there in shock. "Okay.. so we did not realize that these new cameras would be higher definition.." We smear the make-up and it only makes it worse. At the end, we say:
"Signing off, I'm Rachael"
"And I'm Sarah"
"And we have a circus audition to catch."

I like this, but I think it should be filmed as a separate segment altogether, which will be possible, because we won't be going on the air until we get settled with the new equipment/studio/editing/jobs/etc. So we can film this the class before we actually shoot the real first show, then say something like, "We're gonna go clean up while Sports does their thing..." and then we return after that with you looking normal again. It just seems like that'll help things roll more smoothly on our actual first day of production.

2014-2015 HOMEWORK #2: 10

"Cool Kids." I want to make a music video type of project that goes to this song:

I want to film the whole thing with me, Sarah, Tyna, and Kat dressed as nerds. But like movie produced nerds. We carry books. We enjoy everything we do. Until we see what we refer to as the cool kids. The "cool kids" are actually me, Sarah, Tyna, and Kat actually just dressed all spruced up and in different clothes (again a movies produced popular girl look). When the "nerds" aren't looking directly at the "cool kids," the cool kids suffer from sadness and struggle with certain things. But there's a façade that they put on. The whole purpose of this PSA is that everything is not as it seems. When I first heard this song, the line that really stuck to me was "cuz all the cool kids, they seem to fit in." Emphasis is put on "seem." So I think it would be cool to make a set of two groups that are ourselves that are really high school kids, none better than the other, and everything isn't always as perfect as it seems.

I would like to do a remake of this SNL skit with Sarah and I. I love the whole "awkward" forefront of the entire skit and the idea of crazy cat ladies. We would have to change a few parts that wouldn't be school appropriate, though. We may also have to do it in several different takes. This would have to obviously be an out of school project because, I'm going out on a limb here, but I don't think cats are allowed in school. I have 4 cats and Sarah has 1, so that should be enough for a solid PSA. Maybe we can even find other people willing to volunteer their cats for us crazy cat ladies.

This little clip from a verizon commercial sparked an idea in my mind. There's a Motivator, and a Student. The student is constantly late for school (let's say Sarah is the student). So Sarah starts the PSA off in an interview-like setting. Sarah's mom has just hired a motivator (me) to get her to school on time. But I'm like a drill instructor. I wake her up, throw her clothes at her, yell. All the while, it keeps cutting to her at her "interview" saying things like "yeah this is a bit excessive" or "we could be using the money that my mom spends on this motivator to go to Cancún or something..." She runs into Starbucks and comes out with a coffee, spilling it all over herself, then she drops a muffin she just bought and I yell "FUMBLE FUMBLE FUMBLE GET ON THAT!" She's running I to school and I'm chasing her in with my scooter/bike. In the end, she makes it to school by 7:15.

"If High School Kids Were Toddlers." Have you ever babysat a toddler and you're trying to ask them questions and get along with them, but they just stare blankly at you? Yeah. Me too. So, Tyna has Baby Sarah, and she hires me to babysit while she goes out on some errands. I try so hard to make conversation with Sarah but all she does is just blankly stare ahead, ignore me, or play with her toys. At the end of my attempts to try to have a conversation, I just give up and stare right back at her.

rmackinnon wrote:

"Cool Kids." I want to make a music video type of project that goes to this song:

I want to film the whole thing with me, Sarah, Tyna, and Kat dressed as nerds. But like movie produced nerds. We carry books. We enjoy everything we do. Until we see what we refer to as the cool kids. The "cool kids" are actually me, Sarah, Tyna, and Kat actually just dressed all spruced up and in different clothes (again a movies produced popular girl look). When the "nerds" aren't looking directly at the "cool kids," the cool kids suffer from sadness and struggle with certain things. But there's a façade that they put on. The whole purpose of this PSA is that everything is not as it seems. When I first heard this song, the line that really stuck to me was "cuz all the cool kids, they seem to fit in." Emphasis is put on "seem." So I think it would be cool to make a set of two groups that are ourselves that are really high school kids, none better than the other, and everything isn't always as perfect as it seems.

Awesome idea, and an awesome pitch (which aren't the same thing necessarily, but in this case you have both). It makes it more challenging to film by making the actors all play double roles, but the final result would be 8000x better if we can pull it off. I'm down for the challenge, no doubt. Let's explore this one for sure. I love the song too. Great job latching on to the word "seem," as it's really the most critical word in the entire song.

** On an unrelated but kind of related note, this pitch reminds me of my movie idea I was thinking of over the summer for you girls, which was sort of like a "Mean Girls" spinoff, but the tweak would be that the protagonist is totally "in" with the clique of mean girls, and her mission is to try to get out without having her life ruined in the process, which should be simple enough, but in the world of high school social status drama, she finds that it's not so simple. It's just a thought, not something that needs to happen, but it was the one idea I had that seemed to have the most potential for a possible movie script.

2014-2015 HOMEWORK #3 (in advance): 10

rmackinnon wrote:

I would like to do a remake of this SNL skit with Sarah and I. I love the whole "awkward" forefront of the entire skit and the idea of crazy cat ladies. We would have to change a few parts that wouldn't be school appropriate, though. We may also have to do it in several different takes. This would have to obviously be an out of school project because, I'm going out on a limb here, but I don't think cats are allowed in school. I have 4 cats and Sarah has 1, so that should be enough for a solid PSA. Maybe we can even find other people willing to volunteer their cats for us crazy cat ladies.

You seem to get this important dynamic (which is good): This bit could be a smash hit, but it could very easily go wrong in multiple areas.

The most obvious things that need to get nixed here are the, um, let's call them "romantic interest jokes" between Kat and the main character with the glasses. But anything involving animals and animal adoption will also need an airtight script to make sure that ultra-sensitive animal folks won't find the bit offensive. It's totally doable, but it just requires us to think of that element in advance and screen our script with that in mind ahead of time.

But ultimately, this could turn into a classic bit if you can get it right.

2014-2015 HOMEWORK #4 (in advance): 10

rmackinnon wrote:

This little clip from a verizon commercial sparked an idea in my mind. There's a Motivator, and a Student. The student is constantly late for school (let's say Sarah is the student). So Sarah starts the PSA off in an interview-like setting. Sarah's mom has just hired a motivator (me) to get her to school on time. But I'm like a drill instructor. I wake her up, throw her clothes at her, yell. All the while, it keeps cutting to her at her "interview" saying things like "yeah this is a bit excessive" or "we could be using the money that my mom spends on this motivator to go to Cancún or something..." She runs into Starbucks and comes out with a coffee, spilling it all over herself, then she drops a muffin she just bought and I yell "FUMBLE FUMBLE FUMBLE GET ON THAT!" She's running I to school and I'm chasing her in with my scooter/bike. In the end, she makes it to school by 7:15.

I love the general premise, but I might suggest that the bit would play the best to a wide audience if you used a somewhat high profile male athletic figure in our school for the motivator; it would just highlight the awkward dynamic even more and hit some extra comedic notes. Like the ultimate person to cast would be Arouca, but that's not going to happen outside of school, but maybe one of the big football guys could play the role. It's not a mandatory switch, but just something worth considering it. I like the potential here though for sure.

2014-2015 HOMEWORK #5 (in advance): 10

rmackinnon wrote:

"If High School Kids Were Toddlers." Have you ever babysat a toddler and you're trying to ask them questions and get along with them, but they just stare blankly at you? Yeah. Me too. So, Tyna has Baby Sarah, and she hires me to babysit while she goes out on some errands. I try so hard to make conversation with Sarah but all she does is just blankly stare ahead, ignore me, or play with her toys. At the end of my attempts to try to have a conversation, I just give up and stare right back at her.

It's a bit with fun potential if you can get a parent to sign off on letting us film the baby/toddler. The one hesitation is that your finish seems a bit anti-climactic, like the punchline doesn't pop, requires the viewer to take some time to process what's happening at the end, and it doesn't seem like the laugh is as big as it could be in that moment. So it might be worth considering going after the sort of video where the viewer hears the inner thoughts of the baby/toddler, even though the baby/toddler isn't actually speaking. That stuff can sometimes go over great with audiences if it's well written, and it might have the potential to draw bigger laughs, based on the jokes written and performed for the baby/toddler's inner thoughts.

2014-2015 HOMEWORK #6 (in advance): 10

"Autocorrect Strikes Again." So I think when autocorrect changes words, it can be very funny. Unless you're actually sending a very important email or something. But anyway, I sparked this idea when I texted a friend saying something about "skim milk." My phone decided it would be best to change it to "skin milk." Then I thought, what if our brains worked the same way?
*Sarah and I walking down the hallway*
Sarah - Hey so what are your plans for tonight?
Rachael - I think ill just see a movie.
S - Can I cone with you?
*short pause*
S - Ooops! Laugh out loud. *sarah does emoji face*. I meant to say come with you!
R - Oh yeah sure! Do you want to stop by the store for some candy? I love store pitcher kids.
*short pause*
R - *awkward HA HA HA* whoopsies! I meant to say sour patch kids! Silly me.
S - Let's stop at Hess first. I need to get some Gastric Bypass.
*Sarah awkwardly thinks*
S - oh. I meant to say "gas."
R - we could get some gastric bypass on the way, too?
*both say "LOL" over and over again with completely straight faces*
S - Okay so I'll pick you up at 64? .....erm 6 o'clock?
R - Okay sounds food. Food. Food. Food. GOOD. IT SOUNDS GOOD.

"The Getaway Attempt." Have you ever been stuck in what feels like an infinite conversation? So I feel like this PSA would have to involve you because it isn't the same if I were talking to another student. So, I'm sitting with Sarah and I say "i'm gonna go ask about my grade, be back in a few." I walk into your room and we start talking. The conversation goes on forever. Every time I see a chance at leaving, you begin with a whole new topic. We can morph the conversation to give it a feel of actually going on for hours. We'll do a sun up, sun down, sun up background feature. I'll say, "Okay I'll be working hard to get that B up to an A." I'll pivot on my heel and then you'll say "Yeah sounds good!! But did you see that Pats game last night?? MAN! That was awesome and.........." So i'll texted Sarah with a voiceover being my text and tell her that I need a getaway plan. Sarah will respond with another voiceover (text). The plan will involve attaching a Diet Coke or a seltzer water to a strings and dragging it through your door. When you follow what the getaway plan is designed to do, I'm free. But then, to top it off, you find Sarah at the end of the string with the Diet Coke attached to it, think nothing open, crack open the top, and begin an infinite conversation with her.

"Pros Instead of Cons." I hear a lot of cons about the new school. You know, with every new good thing, there is a pack of haters. So I think we should present the pros of the school in a humorous way. We go into the hallways and it is a field report look. A student holds the microphone and says, "I heard the bathroom doors in the girls room... *suspenseful pause*... actually lock!" Another says, "I hear that in the winter... *suspenseful pause*... the HEAT might actually work!!!" Everyone is saying their pros as if it is the most unheard of piece of info in the world. We give pros that any other high school SHOULD have, but our old school lacked. Another could say, "I hear the new school has a gym ceiling... *looks from left to right, and back to left*... that doesn't leak...!" And all the stuff like that. We present the pros of the school without shoving it down everyone's throats.

rmackinnon wrote:

"Autocorrect Strikes Again." So I think when autocorrect changes words, it can be very funny. Unless you're actually sending a very important email or something. But anyway, I sparked this idea when I texted a friend saying something about "skim milk." My phone decided it would be best to change it to "skin milk." Then I thought, what if our brains worked the same way?
*Sarah and I walking down the hallway*
Sarah - Hey so what are your plans for tonight?
Rachael - I think ill just see a movie.
S - Can I cone with you?
*short pause*
S - Ooops! Laugh out loud. *sarah does emoji face*. I meant to say come with you!
R - Oh yeah sure! Do you want to stop by the store for some candy? I love store pitcher kids.
*short pause*
R - *awkward HA HA HA* whoopsies! I meant to say sour patch kids! Silly me.
S - Let's stop at Hess first. I need to get some Gastric Bypass.
*Sarah awkwardly thinks*
S - oh. I meant to say "gas."
R - we could get some gastric bypass on the way, too?
*both say "LOL" over and over again with completely straight faces*
S - Okay so I'll pick you up at 64? .....erm 6 o'clock?
R - Okay sounds food. Food. Food. Food. GOOD. IT SOUNDS GOOD.

OCT 10

I love the potential here. The acting/execution seem like critical elements to convey the joke properly (which might be helped by even a title card on-screen to lead off the bit). But the ceiling is high here.

PITCH: 10

rmackinnon wrote:

"The Getaway Attempt." Have you ever been stuck in what feels like an infinite conversation? So I feel like this PSA would have to involve you because it isn't the same if I were talking to another student. So, I'm sitting with Sarah and I say "i'm gonna go ask about my grade, be back in a few." I walk into your room and we start talking. The conversation goes on forever. Every time I see a chance at leaving, you begin with a whole new topic. We can morph the conversation to give it a feel of actually going on for hours. We'll do a sun up, sun down, sun up background feature. I'll say, "Okay I'll be working hard to get that B up to an A." I'll pivot on my heel and then you'll say "Yeah sounds good!! But did you see that Pats game last night?? MAN! That was awesome and.........." So i'll texted Sarah with a voiceover being my text and tell her that I need a getaway plan. Sarah will respond with another voiceover (text). The plan will involve attaching a Diet Coke or a seltzer water to a strings and dragging it through your door. When you follow what the getaway plan is designed to do, I'm free. But then, to top it off, you find Sarah at the end of the string with the Diet Coke attached to it, think nothing open, crack open the top, and begin an infinite conversation with her.

OCT 15

It's funny. We need to work out the details, but it has strong potential. Makes me look like a tool, but I can shoulder that.

PITCH: 10

rmackinnon wrote:

"Pros Instead of Cons." I hear a lot of cons about the new school. You know, with every new good thing, there is a pack of haters. So I think we should present the pros of the school in a humorous way. We go into the hallways and it is a field report look. A student holds the microphone and says, "I heard the bathroom doors in the girls room... *suspenseful pause*... actually lock!" Another says, "I hear that in the winter... *suspenseful pause*... the HEAT might actually work!!!" Everyone is saying their pros as if it is the most unheard of piece of info in the world. We give pros that any other high school SHOULD have, but our old school lacked. Another could say, "I hear the new school has a gym ceiling... *looks from left to right, and back to left*... that doesn't leak...!" And all the stuff like that. We present the pros of the school without shoving it down everyone's throats.

OCT 17

I like the subject you're going for here, especially because I think it's ridiculous that people have so many complaints about this place...I mean, come on, people, it's a $100 million school, enjoy it please without nitpicking out every little detail that isn't perfect. So yes, I think there's something good to pursue here, although I'm not sure if this specific vehicle is the ideal way to go after it...Or I should say, I'm at least concerned/wondering whether or not it's a one-joke bit that we "get" quickly as viewers and, therefore, don't get any significant additional kick/benefit out of each new pause/hesitation in subsequent answers from people in the field report. But I'm not convinced that that's a problem, just think it's something worth considering/discussing. In other news, you'd think I get paid by the "/" the way I've utilized them in this paragraph.

PITCH: 10

"No Germz 4 U." I had told you a quick little snipit of this idea in the hall, and I would really like to do it this weekend. I think the ShamWow commercial is the funniest commercial ever because the guy is just so odd. He talks so fast and is so quirky. So I thought:
"Hey it's Rachael MacKinnon here and you know what time it is? Cold and flu time. And you know what you need to stop it? HAND SANITIZER."
But every sentence is a different angle and I am just so enthusiastic about this hand sanitizer. I start by explaining:
"Put it on ya hands.
Put it on ya arms.
Put it on ya calves.
Put it on ya binders.
Ya lockahs.
Ya teachers.
Ya homework.
I REALLY DONT CARE WHAT YOU PUT IT ON THIS PRODUCT IS JUST SO VERSATILE!
Put it on ya cat!
Ya othah cat!!
All ya cats!!
Put it on your oatmeal.
Ya apples.
Ya face.
Ya pet turtle!"
You get the point. It's a fast moving, weird voice talking ad about a product that everyone already knows about.
I'll present it in a way that will make me just about as bizarre as the Shamwow guy, but I'll add my own little twist. Another point of emphasis is that I will not be using real hand sanitizer. I have an empty bottle that I'll just fill up with water and mix it with something else to give it the consistency of hand sanitizer without the harmful effects of putting it on all the products I just named.

"What I Learned In Boating School Is..." The title is probably one of the most quoted SpongeBob lines ever. And it is so applicable to the seniors in their process of writing the college essay. [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] This clip is what made me really think of this idea. We have everyone sitting at a computer around the room. Some people are rocking back and forth, others are sucking their thumb, and some are crying. We pan by each person and intercept their thoughts in the process.
one person: "What I learned in boating school is... WHAT I LEARNED IN BOATING SCHOOL IS!"
next person: "Blankity blankity blank."
next person: "Forty six, forty six pancakes in a steel treasure chest."
And so on and so forth, just forming random sentences that don't make sense in order to convey the message of epic confusion. When everyone is done with their "thoughts," the camera is back at the front of the room and it is just completely silent, yet everyone is still doing their stressed out motions.

"A Tour of Colleges." With the new green screen, we will be able to do so many cool "journeys," if you will. I think a good one would be a tour of some colleges in this area. Maybe the Ivy Leagues or maybe some state schools. We can stand in front of the green screen and give a virtual picture tour of each place. Not only will this be useful to just seniors, but it will be interesting for every grade to watch. We can give facts such as average GPAs accepted, acceptance rates, and some majors included. Concise but informative.